I Almost Lost My Mind… But God Is Bringing Me Back
Recently I have been having anxiety issues because there was so much going on in my life. So much so that I could not take it anymore. I had a emotional breakdown a few Saturdays ago and when they come, I usually do not let anyone know about it. I begin to pray and ask the Lord what is going on with me. I could not figure it out on my own.
When I went to sleep that night I had a dream that I was by a toilet bending over going around in circles with my hand with pages of the book I was suppose to be writing. I could not focus and I was at a state where I lost my mind. People who were close to me came in and tried to help but they could not bring me back. They brought in life coaches and professionals but even they could not bring me back to where I need to be. The next day I was speaking with my pastor on the next sermon series and out of no where she begin to address the issues I had prayed to God about and the dream I had the previous night. I was in shock! The next day I asked the Lord what does this mean. He said to me that you will never have peace until you do what you are suppose to be doing.
I could not figure out what that meant because I thought I was doing what I was suppose to be doing. I was so involved in church and doing various activities. I was the leader over this group, a teacher in another, and so on and so on. God said that is the problem, I was doing too much and not focusing on what I am really suppose to be doing. I allowed myself to become swamped and lost sight on what God has directly told me to do. My pastor told me that I need to have a “no” birth in me when it comes to people asking me to do things.
A few days later I read Small Straws by Marsha Burns and it says, “I heard the word divergent. And, the Lord says, “Forces of darkness have begun to scatter you, My people, and cause you to move apart and go in different directions. The enemy’s goal is to distract you from your primary purpose and focus. It is vital that you stay connected to Me at this time and maintain a sense of unity with one another. Be one with Me.””
Even though you maybe doing the work of the Lord, the enemy tries to make you busy to a point where you loose focus on what you are suppose to be doing. I am reminded of the story of Mary and Martha when Martha became upset with Mary for not helping out in serving (Luke 10:38-42). Martha was caught up doing the work, but not taking the time to sit at Jesus’ feet and receive impartation.
The Lord has so much to say to us but we are too busy to hear from Him. We may think it is good work, but is it what God has called for you to do? Clear out the weeds (Luke 8:7) and see the true beauty and promises that God want you to have. Do not bombard and load yourself with the unnecessary.
