by mondayslife | Dec 10, 2018 | Bible, Church, Decisions, discernment, Leadership, legacy, Love, Mondays Life, Purpose
How to Bounce Back When You Have Crushed Your Own Character
As I am growing to become a better leader, I have been faced with the challenge of restoring the trust and integrity with others due to poor choices that I have made. I believe it is safe to say that we’ve all burned bridges and loss and gain trust with individuals. Whether it be a small issue or a blowout. Trust sometimes can take years to establish but yet trust can be loss within a matter of seconds. How do you come back when you have failed one another? When you have failed your spouse? When you have failed your children?
We have seen it in politics, religious institutions, and even in our homes. We have many people in our lives that we have considered as role-models or even idols have failed us at least once. There are pastors or church leaders who have been caught in unethical situations every year. Because of their mistake, many people have decided that they are not a leader they want to “follow”. But yet we make mistakes all the time in our lives. All of the good the leader have done over the years can be cancelled or forgotten in seconds because of a mistake or failure. The person can ask for forgiveness over and over again. We can ask for forgiveness all day long but that does not equate to restoration of trust? Can the Violation of trust by a self-imposed destruction of the integrity and character cannot be restored merely by forgiveness?
We can ask for forgiveness all day long but that does not equate to restoration of trust?
Trying to Build Up Broken Bridges
One of the the reason why a leader have success is because people trust them. It is not how you move through the English language with finesse or your personality. It was them buying-in or trusting in you. It took the testing of their character and integrity to build trust with others. When one fails, the door of trust is closed. But how is that door opened back up? The door of trust is opened and closed based on both parties. We have a choice whether or not to trust again. The leader have a choice to make themselves trustworthy. One of the keys of reconciliation is to know that works alone will not bring back trust. Talents and gifts are only as safe as your character and integrity. Without both, your works means nothing.
So how does one bounce back when their character was self-destructed? Or how can you restore trust when someone has done you wrong? What do you do when you have lost it all? Your character carries so much weight with where you stand with others. Now I am a Believer of Christ so I am only writing from the tense of having the Word of God as the foundation of morals and beliefs and as an accountability mechanism. The Bible is my final authority. Unbelievers foundation of beliefs is based on other things that are not of God Almighty. So we cannot hold our standards to them. You can always tell in a person of where they lay final authority in. You can always tell how people handle life’s situations whether or not they are rooted and grounded in the Word of God. If someone hurts you, how do you handle it? If you hurt others, how do you reconcile?
If you are a Believer in Christ, your final authority should be the Word of God.
The Ministry of Reconciliation
Because God brought Jesus here on earth to be the vehicle to reconcile God and man, God has commanded us to do the same with one another. With the grace and mercy that God has extended to us when we fall, God expects us to do the same. Loving how God loves us is the toughest thing to accomplish especially if He is not The Lord of your life. The problem is not the failure. The problem is how you deal with the failure. Many leaders do not know how to deal with their own failures and others as well. Pretending that it did not happen does not cancel it. Letting time past does not let it off the hook. The key is reconciliation. We have to be able to face one another and talk things out. After talking things out, we have give each other room for God to come in and handle the rest.
Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation. – 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
The Release
Oh how we love to hold on to accusation and faults of one another and at the same time is it hard to move on when you hurt one another or others hurt you. Colossians 3:13 reminds us that “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave.” The question is what do you do when you have forgiven them? Do you hold it against them? And the answer is no. You are supposed to restore them to the place where they have fallen (Heb. 6). We should always extend the hope of recovery. The enemy wants us to believe that a someone cannot be trusted again or you have to hold reservations towards them. That is not the way of the Kingdom. If our final authority is in the word of God, then we should be able to reconcile our differences.
When we fail one another, the guilt is heavy. I know with me, The Holy Spirit is constantly in teaching mode. He allows me to see when I have done something wrong when handling situations. Whether it is instant or later, I am always corrected. I always say “you cannot trust man”. The better approach is that because we are man, we have to give other believers room to make mistakes and get messy. Also give people time for them to move forward. We all progress and move at various rates. Matthew gives a principle of how to reconcile differences. The key in that scripture is that “if you have won them over” meaning that you all have a chance to talk about it and both have seen where they have fallen and repent, then the relationship is salvageable.
The better approach is that because we are man, we have to give other believers room to make mistakes and get messy. Also give people time for them to move forward. We all progress and move at various rates.
As leaders, we are going to make mistakes, hurt people, or say the wrong thing. The test is the aftermath. Do we go and apologize? Are we so prideful to the point where we do not see our mistakes? Great is the person that can go to the one you have hurt and explain scripturally where they have fallen and what we should do about it. Only under test can your character be proven. You only believe what you believe until you are tested to break it or not. Your convictions are proven by test. Not by pronouncements. What you claim must be tested. Live out what you proclaim.
by mondayslife | Oct 8, 2018 | Decisions, Deliverance, dream, Goals, God Great, heavenly minded, Mondays Life, Purpose
Happy Monday! Let’s Dream!
I was listening to a sermon and a question was asked? When was the last time you’d dream? What was the dream that God gave you? The question literally stunned me because I could not think back on the last dream I had from the Lord. It made me question whether not I was still doing my assignment from the Lord or have I veered away from what God has called me to do.
There is so much I want to do in my life and things I want to get started but I want to make sure that I am in the will of God. Scripture says in Proverbs 19:21, “Many plans are in a man’s heart, But the counsel of the LORD will stand.” We can be so zealous and caught up on new ideas and endeavors that sometimes we are not in the will of God. I began to pray one day and my prayer was: God, show me again of what it is you want for me to do. Refresh my mind and allow me to know what I’m doing is apart of your will.
Do not get so caught up on good ideas that you miss God idea’s for your life. God’s will is the best will you can ever follow. Sometimes in the midst of going places and doing things, you have to ask God, am I in your will? Is this what you want for me to do? This requires allowing God to be The Lord over your life. God calls all the shots and directs your footsteps. Pray to allow God to show you His will. Dream and believe again. Even if you cannot see the whole picture, take what God has given you and go with it. Have faith and dream again!
by mondayslife | May 1, 2018 | Bible, Decisions, direction, Mondays Life, Obedience, Purpose, wisdom
God WILL GIVE you the solution to a problem.
I remember I had to design project that I could not figure out how to do it. God showed me in a dream step by step on how to accomplish it. As I was waking up out the dream, I said “God show me again” and He did.
Instead of me spending hours and hours on a project, it only took me less the ten minutes to do.
If you have a difficult task in front of you, pray! God will give you the solution to your problem. The answer is right in front of you.
“Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water; and she went and filled the skin with water and gave the lad a drink.”
Genesis 21:19 NASB
by mondayslife | Aug 28, 2017 | Bible, Church, Decisions, direction, Goals, heavenly minded, Mondays Life, Obedience, Purpose, Spiritual Gifts
This weekend I met with one of my mentors. I knew that it was long over due to do a “check-in” because I have been off in certain areas of my life. So usually on Saturdays after church, I would go and do something else such as hanging out with the saints or go do work. But the Holy Spirit would not let me do anything else except to go and visit my mentor.
The last time I met with my mentor, I could not do anything but cry. But this time I felt better than before. I recently had a meltdown but kept it between God and I. But when I talked to her, she know exactly what I was still wrestling with and it was not doing what I was called to do. But here’s the catch: I thought I was doing what I was called to do. She says to me, “What good is the knowledge you obtain and keep it to yourself? You are a teacher right?” I rolled my eyes (smile)!
How many times have we bogged down our schedule to avoid what God is calling for us to do? I never really thought that I was not doing what I was supposed to do because I was making other things happen. Good works, but not God’s Appointed Work at this time. I was doing busy work rather than the work God wanted for me to do. My main gifting is teaching. I am learning that you cannot ask God what is next in your life if you have not done the first directive He has given you. We may dance around our directive and try to cover it up with “good works”, but the directive and demand is still out there. I believe that many of us experience chaos and uneasiness in our spirits because we have not allowed the priorities of God to become our priorities. When the command of God does not fit in our mold or will, we would quickly table it or dismiss it. There are some things that are purposely on hold because we have not done the first pre-requisite required to move on. If you are delaying what needs to be done, you are causing more trouble for yourself. Delayed obedience is disobedience.
It reminds me of a video game. When you are one level trying to go to the next, you get to the end of the level and ready to move on, you cannot because there was something you were suppose to do in order to move on. So you go back and scratch your head trying to figure out what did I miss? You say to yourself that you are ready to move on, but there is one thing you have to grab or do in order to move on. It could be a small directive. But that small directive can catapult you to where you need to be. It can cause you to skip a level or advance you further than you could imagine.
If we are one of God’s children, then we must be in obedience to his will on a daily basis. Luke 9:23 says that, “Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” We must deny what we think is right. We must deny what we want to do and pick up the Will of God. For God’s Word and Will will continuously light up our pathway to the way that we need to go. Do not delay the directive God has given you. If you are in a standstill and cannot figure out why, go back and make sure you are carrying out or have already carried out God’s last directive for your life.
by mondayslife | Aug 14, 2017 | Bible, Church, Decisions, Forgive, Love, marriage, Mondays Life, Purpose
Why Are We Getting Married?
Lately the Lord is teaching me and cleaning up a lot of “myself”. I believe God is prepping me for what is to come. But I had an interesting conversation with a dear friend about marriage. She posed the question asking would you get married outside of love? I instantly said no. But when I went home the Lord began to talk to me more about it.
In Genesis chapter 2, God declares it is not good for Adam (the first man) to live alone. All the animals are there, but none of them are a suitable partner for Adam. God, therefore, in a special act of creation, makes a woman. Just a few verses later, the woman is called “his wife” (Genesis 2:25). Eden was the scene of the first marriage, ordained by God Himself. The author of Genesis then records the standard by which all future marriages are defined: “A man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
So here is what I got out of it. In Genesis 2, the Lord wanted to find a mate that was suitable for Adam. I got hung up on the word “suitable”. In other versions of the bible it says “complement”. God knows exactly what each of us need in life and He has formed and shaped suitable helpers for each other. When the woman was placed in front of Adam. Adam did not say that he loved her. God allowed him to realize that he needed her. He knew that she played a part of his purpose. There was a need: He was lonely and nothing around him could fulfill his emptiness. In Genesis 2:22 says that,
The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
It does not say that Adam loved Eve, God presented Eve to her and He knew exactly who she was. Adam gave her name and she became his suitable help. She became his companion. He had someone to help him fulfill the purpose God gave Him. It was a purpose on why they became one. God understood that man needed someone to be with him and fulfill a void that God created inside of him. That is why Adam knew immediately that this woman could fulfill it. What is the reason why God gave you a suitable helper?
The first thing that God found that was wrong with Adam was that he was alone (alone- All in one; isolation). He was complete, whole, and single. The proof that Adam was complete, whole, and single, God decided that he needed a mate. Adam did not realize that he was alone and single (Gen 2:18). Adam had no complaint about being single. He was fulfilling his purpose by naming animals and other beings.
The problem is that we think we are suppose to wait until God gives us someone to fulfill our purpose. You do not need anyone to complete you. While in the midst of you fulfilling your purpose, God WILL DECIDE when it is time for you not to be alone… not you. If you cannot handle the state of being single and the disposition of singleness, you are not ready for marriage. Singleness is the foundation of marriage.
So do we get married because of love? No. We get married because of purpose and assignment. There is a purpose why people get married and love is one reason, but not the main. Love comes and develops over time. If you do not have a purpose or a vision when getting married, can love sustain you? Without a vision, the people will perish. They will wonder around aimlessly and tossed to and fro. We have heard so many teachings about marriage but I believe marriage starts with a purpose and it is an assignment from God. Men and women both hold resources that can help one another to carry out the vision, purpose, and assignment from God. If it is ordained by God, then love will come automatically. The primary purpose of marriage is for purpose, fellowship, companionship, and mutual help and comfort that will last for a lifetime.
Let’s talk! What do you believe marriage is consist of. Can love sustain a marriage without the purpose of God?
by mondayslife | Sep 30, 2015 | Bible, heavenly minded, Mondays Life, Purpose, Rejection, Wait on God, Yes
One of the worst pains is to sit in the presences of those who rejected you. Especially when God told you not to leave. In this time you have to change your focus from man to God. Only God anoints and appoints. The credentials here on earth does not matter if you don’t have credentials in heaven.
So what if they do not call your name? So what if they don’t recognize the gifts you have inside? God is calling your name and many of us choose not to listen. Your gifts will make room for you. But we want the space in front of the masses but God is calling you to reach those who are sitting right next to you in your cubical or across the boardroom. Make Monday count and forget about the rejection of man and make God please with your worship and obedience. #LetsReach #WorkTheWorksOfGod #BeIntentional #MondaysLife #RejectionHurtsButSoWhat
