Why Are We Getting Married?
Lately the Lord is teaching me and cleaning up a lot of “myself”. I believe God is prepping me for what is to come. But I had an interesting conversation with a dear friend about marriage. She posed the question asking would you get married outside of love? I instantly said no. But when I went home the Lord began to talk to me more about it.
In Genesis chapter 2, God declares it is not good for Adam (the first man) to live alone. All the animals are there, but none of them are a suitable partner for Adam. God, therefore, in a special act of creation, makes a woman. Just a few verses later, the woman is called “his wife” (Genesis 2:25). Eden was the scene of the first marriage, ordained by God Himself. The author of Genesis then records the standard by which all future marriages are defined: “A man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
So here is what I got out of it. In Genesis 2, the Lord wanted to find a mate that was suitable for Adam. I got hung up on the word “suitable”. In other versions of the bible it says “complement”. God knows exactly what each of us need in life and He has formed and shaped suitable helpers for each other. When the woman was placed in front of Adam. Adam did not say that he loved her. God allowed him to realize that he needed her. He knew that she played a part of his purpose. There was a need: He was lonely and nothing around him could fulfill his emptiness. In Genesis 2:22 says that,
The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
It does not say that Adam loved Eve, God presented Eve to her and He knew exactly who she was. Adam gave her name and she became his suitable help. She became his companion. He had someone to help him fulfill the purpose God gave Him. It was a purpose on why they became one. God understood that man needed someone to be with him and fulfill a void that God created inside of him. That is why Adam knew immediately that this woman could fulfill it. What is the reason why God gave you a suitable helper?
The first thing that God found that was wrong with Adam was that he was alone (alone- All in one; isolation). He was complete, whole, and single. The proof that Adam was complete, whole, and single, God decided that he needed a mate. Adam did not realize that he was alone and single (Gen 2:18). Adam had no complaint about being single. He was fulfilling his purpose by naming animals and other beings.
The problem is that we think we are suppose to wait until God gives us someone to fulfill our purpose. You do not need anyone to complete you. While in the midst of you fulfilling your purpose, God WILL DECIDE when it is time for you not to be alone… not you. If you cannot handle the state of being single and the disposition of singleness, you are not ready for marriage. Singleness is the foundation of marriage.
So do we get married because of love? No. We get married because of purpose and assignment. There is a purpose why people get married and love is one reason, but not the main. Love comes and develops over time. If you do not have a purpose or a vision when getting married, can love sustain you? Without a vision, the people will perish. They will wonder around aimlessly and tossed to and fro. We have heard so many teachings about marriage but I believe marriage starts with a purpose and it is an assignment from God. Men and women both hold resources that can help one another to carry out the vision, purpose, and assignment from God. If it is ordained by God, then love will come automatically. The primary purpose of marriage is for purpose, fellowship, companionship, and mutual help and comfort that will last for a lifetime.
Let’s talk! What do you believe marriage is consist of. Can love sustain a marriage without the purpose of God?